Energy Management 101: A Therapist's Guide to Emotional Boundaries
As therapists, we're natural empaths and healers. Our ability to hold space and attune to others' emotions is both our gift and, sometimes, our challenge. Through my 16 years of frontline experience and Buddhist practice, I've learned that protecting our energy isn't about building walls—it's about cultivating compassionate boundaries that honour both our healing work and our wellbeing.
Understanding energy depletion
Many of us entered this profession because we deeply care. We might have grown up as the family mediator, the trusted confidante to your family members and friends, or the one who always puts others first. For those of us navigating multiple identities—whether as women of colour, neurodivergent practitioners, or managing invisible health conditions—these patterns often run even deeper, woven into cultural and familial expectations.
When we don't safeguard our emotional energy, we might experience:
Feeling drained and depleted after a long day
Carrying clients' emotions home (transference and countertransference)
Difficulty transitioning between work and personal life (and yes as mums, we also code-switch to another role as a mother after work)
Physical symptoms like headaches or fatigue
Compassion fatigue and burnout
Buddhist wisdom meets modern practice
In Buddhist teaching, equanimity (Upeksha) is often misunderstood as emotional detachment or staying calm above the fray. In reality, it's much more profound. Equanimity is the foundation that allows loving-kindness, compassion, and joy to flourish. It's about developing a pristine awareness that removes prejudice and reactive judgments about ourselves and others.
As therapists, understanding true equanimity transforms how we approach energy management. It's not about blocking or avoiding feelings—it's about radical acceptance of every feeling while recognizing our shared buddha nature. When we truly embody this understanding, we realize that both we and our clients are subject to the same universal experiences of suffering and the desire for happiness.
This perspective shifts how we hold space:
Instead of trying to stay "above" difficult emotions, we learn to be with them
Rather than seeing clients as separate from us, we recognize our shared humanity and thus have greater compassion for ourselves and our clients
We understand that all experiences—ours and our clients'—arise from interweb of complex causes and conditions
We remember that everything is impermanent, including challenging emotions and situations
Practicing equanimity in therapeutic work
When we ground ourselves in equanimity, energy management becomes less about defence and more about conscious presence of being. Here's how to embody this:
Morning energy and intention setting:
Connect with your innate buddha nature (Capital S Self with boundless compassion and wisdom) through 5-minute meditation
Cultivate awareness of the shared humanity in all beings
Set an intention to meet all experiences with open presence
Between-session rituals:
Take a deep breath. Check to see what you’re carrying from the previous client, validate it and note any useful information
Ask it to leave your system. Exhale and release. Send the previous client compassion.
Check if any parts of you are activated. Validate and ask them to unblend.
Establish an internal boundary (through visualisation or mantra to remind yourself that you and your client are separate), access Self Energy, and send compassion to your next client
End-of-day release practice:
Create a deliberate transition ritual
Practice loving-kindness meditation for yourself and all beings
Release attachment to outcomes and what’s not yours to carry
Connect with your own Self-energy
Creating sacred boundaries
Remember, boundaries aren't barriers—they're containers that allow us to show up fully for both ourselves and others. When we protect our energy, we're not being selfish; we're ensuring sustainability in our sacred work.
Consider:
Setting clear start and end times for sessions
Creating physical spaces that support energy protection
Being mindful of your capacity when scheduling
Tuning into your body sensations and honouring your body's signals
Maintaining regular spiritual practice
Seeking supervision and peer support for challenging cases
Considering how our stories of people-pleasing and self-sacrificing may tax on our energy and learn how to say no effectively so that you can say yes to what boost your energy
Intersectionality and self-care
For those of us holding multiple marginalised identities, energy management becomes even more crucial. We're often carrying not just our clients' stories, but also navigating systemic challenges and microaggressions in our professional spaces.
True energy management must acknowledge:
Cultural contexts and expectations
Individual neurodiversity needs
The impact of systemic oppression and internalised ableism
Personal healing journeys
Moving forward
Energy management is an ongoing practice, not a destination. Like any skill, it deepens with time and intention. Start small but start somewhere. Notice what works for you, what feels authentic to your practice and identity.
Remember: safeguarding your emotional energy isn't separate from your therapeutic work—it's essential to it. When we maintain our emotional boundaries, we create more sustainable, authentic, and effective healing spaces for ourselves and our clients.
In the words of Buddhist teaching: before we can truly serve others, we must first tend to our own garden.
