What My Burnout Taught Me About Self-Trust
It has been an extraordinary fortnight. My daughter was in hospital for surgery, I organised a mug-making workshop for the She Blossoms therapists during Mother’s Day weekend, and I completed my Level 1 EMDR training - something I'd been contemplating for years.
Why mention these significant events?
Because I'm noticing how differently I'm showing up now compared to my burnout days. Here are the shifts that amazed me:
During my daughter's hospital stay, I remained surprisingly calm and present. While she lay in pain at midnight in ED, we shared precious cuddles on the hospital bed. When anxiety struck during her blood test, I could stay regulated to support her through it. (I overheard the doctors praising my approach - wink!) Instead of spiralling into guilt about why she had appendicitis or what I could have done differently, I stayed present. Yes, I cried when kissing her goodbye as the anaesthetics took effect, but I spent the surgery time meditating and visualizing brightness and light in the operating room. Though cancelling clinic sessions was inconvenient, I was clear - my daughter came first. This crisis became an opportunity for co-regulation and connection. I'm immensely proud of both of us.
My old self would have cancelled the mug-making workshop with my daughter being unwell. Instead, I honoured both my self-care and my commitment to the She Blossoms group. Though I was slightly late (an ongoing ADHD challenge), I felt completely accepted in my imperfection. Any shame that surfaced was quickly met with self-compassion and radical acceptance of my neurotype. I loved the whole process and how our facilitator was reminding us to ‘trust the process’ and ‘patience.’ There was something powerful about creating mugs together - a perfect metaphor for us therapists that, we can't pour from empty cups.
During the EMDR workshop, I showed up fully - raising my hand, asking questions, and immersing myself in the learning. Was I masking? Not quite. I felt an unprecedented openness and self-trust. After years of online CPD during the pandemic, this face-to-face experience highlighted how far I've come from the person who used to hide herself away.
Yes, having my parents-in-law in town helped, and I'm learning to seek support when needed. I also want to celebrate the small wins and the transformation that comes from my inner healing journey over these past few years.
This didn't happen overnight.
But wow, witnessing this deep self-trust within me is extraordinary. I see it reflected in our She Blossoms participants too.
The more I align with Self-Energy and Pristine Awareness - this crystal-clear state of being - the more naturally self-trust flows, surpassing self-doubt and limiting beliefs. Perhaps burnout didn't break me after all. Instead, post-burnout growth cracked open my illusion of control, perfectionism, and self-sacrificing tendencies.
While my 'overachieving' parts aren't completely quiet, I can now see them clearly and invite them to step back with compassion. All those somatic awareness practices and nervous system understanding have anchored me in my body's wisdom and Self-Energy. What felt unbearable during burnout has transformed into profound growth. I'm deeply grateful that the She Blossoms group and The Blossoming Therapists community members trust me with their vulnerability - because we've co-created a space of authentic acceptance.
Key revelations from my journey:
Burnout was my teacher, not my failure
Burnout led to a 'dark night of the soul' awakening when I gave myself permission to lean in
Burnout is our nervous system whispering, "something has to change"
Burnout can be an opportunity for embodied spiritual growth
I wonder - what has your burnout taught you? Whether you're in its depths or emerging from it, I'd love to hear your lessons learned!
