The Illusion of our so-called 'life'

The Illusion of our so-called 'life'

Amongst the busy schedule, do you have some space to connect to your Self? By capital S Self, I mean the state of being that holds all things together - the state that allows thinking, doing, and daydreaming to take place. The state that allows emotions, both pleasant and unpleasant, to run their course.

By Self, I mean the Self-Energy that is inherent and complete within each one of us. This Self embodies love, compassion, creativity, connectedness, calm, confidence, clarity, courage, and curiosity. By Self, I mean this pure essence of who we are.

Each time I make space to connect and allow this Self to naturally emerge, I feel boundless spaciousness and openness. The more I embody this state of being outside of meditation - when carrying out tasks as a therapist, mum, sister, and coach - the more I feel at ease and experience these 8C qualities. It has been healing for my body that carries all the stress and tension. The more I practice this, the more my nervous system experiences calmness and connectedness. (Hello Ventral state! My body slowly relaxes as I shift from Sympathetic and Dorsal States to this state of openness and integration).

If this is our natural state of being, why is it so hard for us to rest in it and allow these beautiful qualities to unfold?
If this Self is who we truly are, why are we not able to see this?

Often, we've been conditioned to actively search externally in the material world ("If only I have this, then I'll be happy") instead of looking within.

Over the last long weekend in WA, I was fortunate to have my mother-in-law look after the kids while my husband and I attended a 3-day meditation retreat. I appreciated the opportunity to pause, step out of the usual daily routine, and reconnect with Self. I recognize this is a luxury, and I am incredibly grateful. During this time, I realized how caught up we are in the 'illusion of life' - that even my body and all attachments I hold onto are temporary and illusory. All of us enter this world naked and will leave it naked. There is nothing tangible we can take with us when we leave. As ACT therapists, we do '80-year-old birthday party' or 'the funeral exercise' to help our clients clarify their values, but do we pause to consider our own? Or are we often getting pulled in different directions, turning ourselves into headless chooks amongst all the roles, responsibilities, and demands?

It's a little surreal to return to my daily routine after this realization, albeit with greater clarity. I still get busy and occasionally caught up in the 'illusion' (of what I see, and what I think I see and should do), but there's a sense of clarity that 'this should not be all there is in my life.'

I guess that's why Robyn Walser (my favourite ACT trainer) advocates in her training that it's important to do our own work – meditation and reflection, to truly see what's going on inside of us, inside our clients, and in the space between. Without this, we can remain so stuck in our Self-As-Content!

As I pause to reflect and write this, I would like to pose these questions to you:

• What can you do to commit to making time to connect with your Self?

• Are you too caught up in roles and demands, doing a lot but not 'being present here-and-now'?

• How would it feel to embody more of your Self-Energy?

With warmth and joy,

Poh

Image courtesy of https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Point_Walter