Boundary Setting for Busy Therapists

Hey therapists,

Boundary setting is one of the challenges that all therapists need to learn and master. Yes, we are such givers with self-sacrificing tendencies that sometimes we find it hard to say no! "It's easier to just do it," my past self insisted. It's easy to lose ourselves in the compassionate act of helping others. Yet, in our pursuit of healing, we must remember to honour our sacred boundaries. Setting boundaries is not just a professional necessity; it is an act of self-love, a practice of mindfulness, and an essential component of sustainable personal growth.

Imagine your mind as a peaceful house, a sanctuary that requires care and attention. Without proper boundaries, the house doors remain open, leading to potential overwhelm and burnout. Anyone can walk in and out of the house as they wish. Anyone can take things in and out of the house as they wish. How would you like that? My dear friend and mentor once told me, "To be a true healer, you must first heal yourself." This wisdom resonates deeply, especially when considering the Buddhist principle of "right effort" – making a balanced, mindful effort without straining beyond our limits. We must find the "middle path" to strike a balance. Without a healthy body and mind, we would not be able to remain in helping professions for long in a sustainable way.

Here are my top three favourite tips for setting boundaries:

1. Start by setting clear boundaries with your schedule. Allocate specific times for client sessions, administrative tasks, and most importantly, self-care. It's vital to communicate these boundaries with kindness yet firmness. For example, you might inform clients that you do not respond to emails outside of work hours. This protects your personal time and models healthy boundary-setting for your clients.

2. Another essential boundary is emotional. As therapists, we often absorb the energy and emotions of those we help. Engaging in practices such as mindfulness meditation can serve as a protective buffer, allowing us to process and release this energy. Picture yourself as a lotus flower, deeply rooted in the mud but rising gracefully above the water. This imagery can remind us to stay grounded while maintaining our inner peace. How do you remain "untainted"? Have you ever seen droplets of morning dew flowing smoothly off the lotus leaves? The energy and emotions of those we help should also roll off us like the droplets of morning dew rolling off the leaves.

3. Remember, it is perfectly acceptable to seek support from colleagues or a supervisor. Sharing experiences and strategies for boundary-setting can create a sense of community and mutual understanding. It's through these connections that we find strength and resilience. Yes, it is okay to have a cancellation policy and enforce it when clients do not show up. That’s something that I’ve learnt from my colleagues. 

Setting boundaries is not a sign of weakness but a testament to your wisdom and dedication to the path of growth and healing from burnout. It does not mean that you don’t care. It means you honour your own needs. It means that this job as a therapist is so important to you that you are setting boundaries to protect it and ensure that your energy can continue to flow and to serve. It means you have more time and energy to commit to your life's purpose and deepest held values - the most important things held in your heart. I wonder, what would that be for you?

Coming up, we have a FREE webinar on Overcoming Burnout: Proven Energy Management Strategies for Therapists on the 30th August 2024 (Friday). If you are interested, check out the link to register and claim your FREE seat!