5 Powerful Lessons on Buddhist Practice from My Conversation with Aimee Pember
Five Things Amiee Taught Me About Walking a Buddhist Path with a Neurodivergent Brain
Our recent two-part conversation with our beautiful colleague, Amiee Pember, an AuDHDer perinatal psychologist, has quietly become the most downloaded episode on the The Practitioner’s Heart.
Maybe it’s because Amiee’s story touches something we all recognise. The early career burnout. The slow, tender work of self-discovery. The question of what it actually means to walk a spiritual path when your brain is wired differently, you life is full, and stillness does not come easily.
I’ve been sitting with our conversation for a few weeks now. These are the five things that I keep returning to. I want to share them with you here.
1.Being neurodivergent doesn’t make us “less than” – our true nature is already whole
In Part 1, Amiee shared her vulnerable journey of receiving her AuDHD diagnosis later in life. For years, she had been “masking” – expending enormous energy to fit into neurotypical expectations. This led to burnout. Persistent anxiety. A quiet sense that something fundamental was wrong with her.
But here’s what I want to name clearly: our neurodivergent brains are not deficits. They are the causal conditions of our biological makeup in this life. They shape how we move through the world – but they don’t determine who we are at the deepest level.
The same awareness-nature that exists in every human being exists in us. It’s not something we need to earn or fix ourselves into deserving. It’s already here.
True practice begins when we stop working against our own brains. We are drop the masks. When we meet ourselves – honestly, tenderly, kindly – exactly as we are.
2.The profound wisdom of “stop trying”
So many of us approach meditation and spiritual practice with a subtle (or not-so-subtle) striving. We try to be calm. We try to focus. We try to have a profound experience.
In Part 2, Amiee shared her experience in the silent retreat. She’d been frustrated with her meditation practice – telling herself she “should be silent and still.” When she spoke with Ajahn Brahm about it, he gave her the simplest advice:
“Stop trying.”
Not “try harder.” Not “push through.”
Stop.
The instruction was to allow her mind and body rest exactly as there were. To allow space for transition. To stop demanding stillness from a nervous system that had just come from a full, chaotic, neurodivergent mother life.
This is the practice of letting go. Letting it be. Peace is not something we achieve through force. It shows up naturally when we stop fighting.
You don’t have to silence your mind. You can observe it while colouring in. While stimming. While moving your body. The practice isn’t about control – it’s about presence. It’s about observing with openness.
3.Spiritual practice is embodied, not intellectual
Amiee’s sharing highlights how spiritual insight is deeply embodied, even when no words are being exchanged.
Amiee described this profound sense of interconnectedness as a lived experience in her body with goosebumps.
She didn’t force the insight. She rested. She let herself sleep when her body needed it. She paid attention to what she actually needed, rather than what she thought she “should” need.
In fact, our bodies are not obstacles on the path. When we listen to them – really listen, without layering on the “shoulds,” the rules and the concepts – we’re aligning ourselves with something deeper – our innate wisdom.
The subtle cues of the nervous system matter. They help us build a practice that’s nourishing and sustainable. No, we don’t have to push ourselves to burnout and depletion.
4.You don’t have to walk this path alone – the power of community
For me, this was the most moving part of our conversation.
Aimee spoke about her challenge of maintaining a consistent meditation practice after returning home from silent retreat. And she named something so many of us experience: it’s hard to keep going without community.
The deep sense of connection she experienced at the retreat. It is a shared human experience and understanding that she wasn’t alone in pursuing true inner peace.
We call this sangha in Buddhist practice. Dharma friendship among lay practitioners. Spiritual companionship.
While our spiritual path is our own, we walk it in the company of others. Whether that’s a meditation circle, a peer support group, or even two trusted practitioners checking in over coffee – this togetherness is what helps us stay on the path.
(I’m building something like this right now, and I can’t wait to share it with you soon.
5.The path isn’t linear and that’s okay
Amiee’s take home message was beautiful. She spoke about feeling “off the path” and being compassionate towards ourselves and welcoming each other back on the path.
“Off the path” – that sense that we’ve strayed. That we’ve failed. That we should be further along by now.
But the truth is: there is no arrival. The path isn’t linear and it never was.
The key is to meet those moments – the times we’ve wandered, the times we’ve forgotten, the times we’ve felt lost – with compassion and kindness. And to welcome ourselves back. Again and again.
Each time we return to our original intention, whether after minutes of distraction or years of disconnection, we’re not starting over. We’re deepening.
In fact, nothing needs to be added. Nothing needs to be subtracted. You’re already whole.
Your path might not be straight. But it’s yours. And you’re always, always welcome back.
Listen to the Full Conversation:
I invite you to listen to the full experience and hear Amiee’s story in her own words.
Listen to Part 1: A conversation with Amiee Pember: Neurodivergent Identity, Motherhood & the Path of Buddhist Practice
Listen to Part 2: A conversation with Amiee Pember: ‘Stop Trying’, Connection and Community
Resources:
Learn more about Amiee Pember's neurodiversity-affirming work at Neuro Bloom: www.neurobloomlearninghub.com.au
Explore the teachings of Ajahn Brahm, mentioned in the episode. Ajahn Brahm
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